Week #23 (2) - Emma-Jane

 I was springing on the wharf and I got ready to jump.


As I dived down into the smooth gentle water and its splash, I went down to the bottom of the ocean. I saw a pink  smooth octopus splash and play, then in a nick of time he was gone. 


Then I found this cave. Then I saw what was the big octopus again. I also saw mermaids and a smooth white piano and the octopus was looking at the piano. He came up and played to me. It was an amazing day and now I visit every weekend.


Comments

  1. Hello Emma-Jane,
    It's easy to see the care you have taken writing your story and including the prompt words. It was almost like a fairytale with a piano playing octopus and mermaids. Well done!
    One suggestion, "then" at the beginning of sentences wasn't needed.
    Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

    ReplyDelete

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